Went to the Doc and he said that I have bronchitis, sinusitis, and temporary asthma (due to two previously mentioned issues). Oh boy, aren’t I lucky! I am feeling some better, albeit a little lightheaded, thanks to an Albuterol breathing treatment and a shot in the booty.

I'm so very sick!
I told the nurse when I made an appointment that I had the plague, and she didn't even snicker.
The lack of O2 to my brain is making me delusional.
I want some soup.
My sick cough sounds like a goose mating call, and I swear they won't stop following me around the house.
That is all for now, must go build an igloo out of used tissue.

Some of these songs remind me of places, people, specific times in my life and so on. Some of these songs just speak to me.
Can you guess what they are? This is similar to the movie line thing, but I know song lines better, so I did that instead. The lines are as accurate as I can get them.

1. Money paid for all the days I lived awake, but half asleep.
2. Dressed me up in women’s clothes, messed around with gender roles, dye my eyes and call me pretty.
3. Give me a sista, I can't resist her, red beans and rice didn't miss her.
4. He lives in the yard, he keeps himself hard, he keeps himself homeless and harmless, and hard.
5. I wish I’d only look and didn’t have to touch, I wish I only smelled this and didn’t have to taste.
6. But, would I be a good messiah with my low self esteem, if I don’t believe in myself would that be blaspheme?
7. Tears stream down your face when you lose something you can’t replace.
8. My Candyland melted down to syrup while I watched the water roll down.
9. I see today with a newsprint fray, my night is colored headache grey.
10. Sometimes we would spend the night just rolling about on the floor, and I remember even though it felt soft at the time I always would wake up sore.
11. The devil smiled and put on her party dress, out on the curb her curls were a mess.
12. If only I could find a way to feel your sweetness through the day the love that shines around me could be mine.
13. Her perfume smells like burning leaves and everyday is Halloween.
14. Bang, Bang you’re dead, hole in your head.
15. Her eyes were cobalt red, her voice was cobalt blue, I see no purple light crashing out of you, so just walk on in.

Yesterday was mine and cyanide00000's 4th anniversary. I didn’t think it possible, but I love him more now than I did when I married him. I know it sounds sappy, but I don’t care, I’m in love. It grows deeper with every passing year.



P.S. Happy 5th Anniversary (10/18) to hemlock and sugarkane22!

Hooray! I just put up all the Halloween decorations! It looks spooktacular in my newly cleaned living room. I am happy on this chilly night!

I just love the fall. It is by far my favorite season, and October is my favorite month. The air gets brisk and cool, the sun is warm, the sky is blue, and the trees are magnificent. The fact that the best holiday of the whole year is at the end of the month is an added bonus.

Here is a poem that I always think of when the trees start to change colors. I couldn’t say it better than Robert Frost.

"Nothing Gold Can Stay" (1922)
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaves are flowers;
But only so for hours.
Thern leaves subside to leaves.
In autumn she achieves
Another golden blaze,
But nothing golden stays

I have been put on crutches. I’m not supposed to walk on my foot and I am to keep it elevated and iced. I suck at using the crutches to get around, I’m not coordinated enough to use them well. I gonna end up breaking my damned neck with these blasted things.

I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow because I have a Franken-foot. Perhaps I did more than just break the toe, but I have no idea what. It is enormous and none of my toes move too well. I am even haven muscle pain up my whole leg. I am tired of always having the worst case scenario happen to me when it comes to medical things. Hopefully it does not involve surgery or amputation, but I would not be that surprised if it did. I would like to feel well and whole again, but don’t ever expect that I will.

1. Get my bachelor’s degree at Macon State to become a teacher
2. Get my master’s degree at Georgia State to become a media specialist (school librarian)
3. Become a rocking media specialist that all the children love to come visit
4. Touch children’s lives through great books
5. Author a children’s book
6. Read a children’s book a week (professional development)
7. Read a classic novel a month (tackle my list of 200+ books)
8. Sign up to take the GACE to get certified to teach in Georgia
9. Take and pass the GACE
10. Apply to graduate
11. Visit Greece
12. Visit the 50 states
13. Exercise daily
14. Lose 30 lbs
15. Have a healthy child
16. Use my knowledge of child development to do a good job raising my child, and not be a lazy, uninterested
parent like most parents are
17. Get Mike to try new foods
18. Get out of debt
19. Sky dive
20. Bungee jump
21. Whitewater raft
22. Learn how to control my MS
23. Learn not to let the fact that I have MS control my life
24. Get braces again
25. Figure out a new hairstyle
26. Learn to shoot my mother’s gun
27. Put up a marker that marks the place where I spread my mother’s ashes
28. Get another tattoo or improve the ones I have
29. Get a digital camera that I can use on my own
30. Take more pictures
31. Learn how to use a picture editing software with proficiency
32. Develop a better sense of who is trustworthy
33. Keep a journal regularly
34. Keep a plant alive
35. Bring home no more animals
36. Train my dogs
37. Find a hobby that Mike and I have in common
38. Read all the books that I own
39. Keep my checkbook balanced
40. Make a professional wardrobe that is still “me”
41. Buy nice shoes
42. Keep in touch (call, write) with my family
43. Learn to loosen up
44. Beat Mike’s ass at a trivia game
45. Draw regularly
46. Learn to upload music on my mp3 player
47. Keep the house clean
48. Go through and get rid of all the junk in the house
49. Organize the house
50. Spend more quality time with my friends
51. Spend more time with my family
52. Gossip less
53. Get dressed up for no reason other than to feel like a girl more often
54. Learn to control the filter on my mouth
55. Learn to drive a stick, just to know how
56. Volunteer in my community to combat illiteracy
57. Try not to hold grudges as much
58. Learn to let the little things that bug the shit out of me go
59. Learn to relax
60. Try to accept my self, both the good and the bad
61. Go to Walt Disney World and ride everything
62. Regularly get enough sleep
63. Become a regular patron to the library
64. Get all the animals current on their shots
65. Find my grandfather’s grave in Smyrna and put flowers on it
66. Get a professional photograph or painting done of the dogs
67. Get the high score at Tetris back
68. Learn to sew
69. Grow something in the front “garden area” other than weeds
70. Get my wedding ring resized so I can wear it again
71. Make plans for our 4th anniversary
72. Cuss less
73. Take the dogs to the park once a month
74. Walk the dogs in the neighborhood at least once a week
75. Go to the chiropractor regularly
76. Go get my teeth cleaned regularly
77. Get no more speeding tickets (must think: the speed limit is not a challenge)
78. Learn to read Braille
79. Learn to “speak” American Sign Language
80. Go the Babyland General to get clothes so my Cabbage Patch Kid is no longer naked
81. Learn to conjugate verbs in Spanish
82. Learn to cook at least one really nice meal that does not come in a box
83. Bake more often
84. Support Mike so he can go back to college
85. Live in a house with a pool
86. Have a garden tub
87. Send more cards
88. Rip up the carpet and put in wood floors
89. Get new living room, bedroom, and kitchen furniture
90. Move my dad out of the house and get an apartment for him nearby
91. Get angry at my dad less
92. Hate less
93. Smile more
94. Be goofy
95. Go on a vacation with Mike once a year
96. Sing in front of a crowd at a karaoke bar
97. Make a speech to a crowd without throwing up
98. Learn yoga and practice regularly
99. Move out of Georgia
100. Clean my car
101. Sit through a horror movie

...I'm a big geek! I thought this was funny and wanted to share. My favorite part is when Yoda "dances."

Yep, I broke my toe. It looks like a little purple grape today and I can’t move it. Again, I would like to state how talented that I am, I am just SO coordinated! I went and bought medical waterproof tape and taped it to the next one, which is the same treatment that I would get if I went to the doctor, but for a lot less (for about $4 verses $200). Shoes are impossible right now, so I will be wearing bedroom slippers for the few days, so it is not all bad. I just look like a gimp.

I swear, were it not for bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all!

Good!: We went to Callaway Gardens this weekend with Mike. He is so thoughtful. He rented a sweet little villa so we could get away from everything (work, school, stress, bad stuff, etc.) for the weekend, and it worked. The gardens were beautiful and relaxing, and the fall-like weather made it even more wonderful. The weekend was not long enough, and I want to back.

Good: This weekend coming up should be good too. I am going to visit sugarkane22, hemlock and their two sweet kids to read fun children’s books to them (part of a class assignment) on Friday. Saturday is a packed day. ster00ling and I will be going the Atlanta Botanical garden to see Niki in the Garden. Then, we are going to eat fantastic southern food at Mary Mac’s with my best friend, Heather, who is coming in town for a few days. After dinner, Trish and I are going over to rubix1138’s new place for a house warming party. I am looking foward to spending this weekend with some of my friends.

Bad: I think I just broke my wittle piggy toe. It hurts! I ran my foot into the curb as I was pretending to check my mail while I was really making sure that the punk teenagers kept on walking (they were looking suspiously at my backyard). I am so coordinated! Mike said there is nothing that a doctor can do so there is no point in going. I'm not so sure.

Ugly: School is going so-so. I am slowly catching up with school work. I took a math test today on probability and odds, and all that junk. I hope that I did better than I think. My Children’s Lit teacher is a stupid, racist bitch- cow! She was not happy with the answers that the class was coming up with about the poor quality article that she assigned for us to read at the last minute. She assigned a 7 page paper on the article that is due the next class meeting because she was “disappointed.” That is a lot to ask, and I will be lucky to finish even half of that. I can only do so much.

Sugarkane22, I have a textbook called “How Children Develop” which I thought that you might like. It is one I had from a psychology class (it has been highlighted throughout), and it is much more detailed than the books that you might find at your local book store.

Mystae, are you still interested in the desk?

We have a bunch of role playing books that we are getting rid of and we thought that we would give ours friends first dibs on them.

( Free Roleplaying Books )

I found this article in this Month's Wired. I wonder if "Geekin'" could have the same fate as "The Puffy Chair." That would be so very cool!

http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/14.09/netflix.html

I am in a weird place right now. I feel the need for a rebirth of some sort. In this vein, I guess, I have started a massive purge of the useless junk around the house. If I can deem that an item will be useful in the future, it is useful now, or it holds sentimental value then I will keep it. Everything else that does not meet these criteria goes. I may regret it later, but I feel less burdened. I guess, perhaps, this is because recent life events have put into perspective for me how little material crap matters in the grand scheme of things. And because this shift in perspective, I don't feel the need to keep a bunch of crap anymore. I feel lighter. Clean.

Everything has been moving in slow motion lately. Physically, I am slowing getting where I can more around better. Emotionally, I feel numb.

Mike has been wonderful. He is taking me away for a weekend to Callaway Gardens next weekend. It will be good to get away from the house.

I go back to school next Monday. I have been doing my school work from the couch so I won’t be so far behind.

I wanted to thank all of our friends for their kind words.

So, another Dragon-Con is past. This makes a total of eight for me, and I had gotten used to a sort of pattern in the chaos of it all. However, this year was totally different for me.

I had geared up to a disappointing and depressed con, but actually it was not bad at all. I actually ended up have a great con. It was partly because I am pregnant so I was very sober, and it was also because Mike was hardly there at all due to work. I still missed Mike, but I did get to spend a lot of time with my friends. As far as the sober thing goes, I got a chance to do people watching, and I got see how ridiculous we all are at con. I had some interesting conversations with folks, but I really enjoyed watching people trying to clumsily defend their sobriety. One of my favorite moments was when averyslave tried to convince me that he was "not drunk at all," but five minutes latter he fell in the floor. He promptly got up and was no worse for the wear, but his delusion of sobriety was shaken, but only slightly.

One of the highlights of the con was hanging out with my out of town friends (Marcella, Travis, Burt, and Neal). I look forward to seeing them every year, but this year I got an opportunity to spend some real quality time with them. I had the best time with Travis, and I spent most of the con with him. He is just such a big sweetie and I feel like we really bonded. I never like to say goodbye to them and send them back (to Canada and Texas), but this year I just about cried.

I am completely exhausted, sore, and have almost lost my voice. I probably did too much, but I was having such a good time that it was hard to slow down. That part did not change for me; I always have difficulty with pacing myself. I may not make it to class tomorrow, as I did not do a lick of homework. Such is the sacrifice that must be made to the convention gods.

This is not all, but it is all I have the energy for. Maybe later I will go into more detail. I think I will be taking an extended nap now.

For a while I have been feeling odd, but couldn't explain why or how, I have been moody, my body was doing strange things, and my clothes are stating to fit me snugly, especially in the belly region. On a whim, Monday afternoon I decide to buy a pack of pregnancy tests to dispel a nagging feeling that I have been having. After I took the test, I set it down in front of me. Instead of it tuning into a "-" as I expected, it quickly became a definite "+." I just stared at it and then read the instructions through a few times to make sure that I didn't do it wrong. It is apparently idiot proof, so I am pregnant. Just to be sure, I did the same thing a second time and got the exact same result.

I will be going to a doctor's appointment after Con, since that is when Mike's insurance kicks in. I have no idea how far long I am, but I am showing a little. If anyone has any maternity clothes (or sizes a little bigger than my own), please pass them along (they will be greatly appreciated). I still will be teaching, so I need professional looking clothes, but we don't have the money for a whole new wardrobe. Hardly anything is fitting me right.

I will be a Con, but I am wondering how fun it is for a person who is stone sober.